tonight, I'm a rock n roll star.

Most aussie's will agree that TV over here is pretty poor and I would tend to agree with them.

I will give you one example:

7:30pm - Rock 'n' Roll cuisine. The show where current (Struggling would be my preferred word) bands talk about their music and influences......whilst cooking each other a meal!?!

You what?

In case you were wondering what was under the barrel you had just scraped....there it is.

What's that coming over the hill, is it a Possum?

As some of you may or may not know, whilst house sitting in Brissie we're also looking after several animals that Duncan & Jennifer (House owners) have. There are three tanks of fish, around 9 chickens and one possum.

In fact, he's not just any old possum, oh no no no. This is Percy. Percy was abandoned by his mother and Jennifer and Duncan have been looking after him until his strong enough to look after himself in the wild. I suggested that tattoos and a biker jacket may make him look more menacing. I seemed to have missed the point.

Well Percy has become an integral part of our stay here and it's great looking after him. He does pee and shit at very random times, but hey, who doesn't when they're growing up.

Being nocturnal, for the first couple of hours of the evening he does like to stay in the dark for a bit, so we'll either wrap him up in a dressing gown on Clare will stick him inside her fleece.....and this is where the story starts.

A couple of nights a go, Clare put Percy inside her fleece (she was wearing it at the time) and his little nose was poking up through the zip. We sat down in front the the TV, with Clare rubbing the nose of little Percy. Occasionally he would move about but generally stay still. Clare stroked his face for around 15 minutes until a break in the TV programme. It was only then that she looked down to see how Percy was doing. Looking inside her fleece she realised that when he had moved around 10 minutes earlier, he had actually turned completely around and that his butt was now in the air. It suddenly dawned on Clare that she had in fact been stroking arse for around 10 minutes. FUNNY!

Lost in Translation?????

Doesn't matter where you are there's always an odd person at work.

I work with a women who was born in Oz, lives in Oz and is, for all intents and purposes, an Oz (She's actually one of my three bosses - Yes Three!). She, like so many Aussies that we've met, has an English relative. Hers is her mother. She has decided that this (and a couple of visits to blighty) actually makes her a Brit!?! Kinda like an Aussie Ali G - "Is it 'cause I is British????"

When she found out I was working in her team and that I was English she shouted out, in a very Australian accent, "C'mon you poms!" Hmmmm.

Today, I was in conversation with her and a couple of others when she announced "I tell you Mark, I've been teaching these Aussie bast@rds a thing or two about home!". But you are one, I thought!!

"Yea, I've been teaching them about English traditions and English food". She continued....

"Toad in the Hole" She stated.
"Mmmmmmm" I replied
"Roast dinners and Yorkshire pudding"
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" I exclaimed again
"Fruit Cake........." at this point I was about to repeat my obligatory noise when she finished her sentence.
"........with a slab of cheese on it!!!!!"

"Ehhh??????"

I asked her to repeat her statement.
"Yea, you know, Fruit cake with a slab of really strong cheese on top. That's a English classic!"

Now, at this point I would like to open this to anyone who's reading. Does anyone know what the hell she's going on about because I haven't a clue. Fruitcake with a slab of cheese on top of it!?! That's bl00dy ludicrous!

"You English really do have the oddest traditions" said a rather bemused colleague.

Now I wanted to put her straight and tell her that we're not totally loopy, but Ozzie English was a boss, so I decided to leave it and look at the other lady apologetically for my country's culinary stupidity.

Pappy and Grandad Bill

When doing a trip like this, for this amount of time, there will inevitably be difficult times. Over the last couple of days, both Clare's Grandad (Pappy as he is more fondly known) and Grandad Bill passed away.

They will both be missed greatly. Although we can't be there at this difficult time, we will be remembering and celebrating their lives in a memorial service by planting a tree for each of them at the same time as the services back home.

We'll miss Pappy and Grandad Bill greatly and they will always be in our thoughts.

Special wishes and love to Nanny and Nanny Rose and to all of the families.

xxxx

Welcome Mr Bond.....we've been expecting you!

We're back in good ol' Brissie.

After two months of living the unemployed highlife, we've been brought crashing back to earth by entering the dredge that is the world of work. We've both signed up to an agency who have got us both work straight away.

Clare's been shipped off to a government agency do all sorts of admin work for a reasonably good wage. I got shipped of to a hospital to work in their research dept for some extraordinarily dull work (but exceptionally good pay - Who said that public sector work pays nowt?!?). I was told by the agency that my contact at the dept was (and I promise you, that this is no lie) Monique Callander!!!! Now, put on a slightly french accent when saying this and I thought I was going to be working for a bloody former bond girl or something!

I arrived at my destination and asked for Monique. If Monique had been a former bond girl her best years had long disappeared. A short lady with the voice of a male biker, my perception had been shattered and she had one hell of a lisp that really required an umbrella when she spoke.

Meanwhile, on day two of Clare's work, she already got herself on a training course!!!! Unbelievable. A tourist with a days experience and she's already got herself integrated into the company. She really is amazingly good when she gets into work. I'm predicting that by the end of next week she'll be offered a full time position and the end of the month a place on the board.

Me???? Make a mistake????

We here at youngsblogspot appreciate your feedback and want you to be aware that we do take everything on board.

Here's some of the comments we've had from all of you diligent readers

"I don't think you're in OZ" Matt Clark - Northampton

"Shouldn't the title page say 'wandering' not 'wondering'" Mr M Clark - Northamptonshire

"Shouldn't it read 'Clare was concerned about Mark's HORSESHOE shaped dandruff'" Señor Mattino Clarkio - Northamptoncia

The blog is littered with typo's, spelling mistakes and grammatical errors that would embarrass a five year old, so thank you for your diligence. There will be plenty more in the future.

What's that Flipper? Some people have been trapped in a mine shaft and the only way to save them is through an underwater cave that you've found!

On our way back to Brisbane we stopped of at Tin Can Bay. By the boat ramp every morning around 8am, dolphins will come in looking to be fed, and a local wildlife team give you the opportunity to actually do it.....for free. This was any opportunity not to be missed! We got to Tin Can Bay the night before and set our alarms for an early wake up call.

By 7.20, Clare and I were by the boat ramp, a nice cup of coffee in hand, with several other people awaiting the arrival of Flipper (actual name Mystique - A poor choice of name I thought for a dolphin) and any others that might join him.

7:45 passed, then 8:00 then 8:15. We started looking at the volunteer team in a way that would suggest 'we know that you have no control over these wonderful creatures, but we're tourists and we kind of expect them to show......on time!'. It was at this point, almost knowingly, one of the helpers explained to a couple that sometimes, occasionally, the dolphins don't actually turn up because they've got their feed elsewhere. Elsewhere, what do you mean elsewhere - Dolphins with no loyalty, what kind of creatures are these??????

We tourists were slightly concerned at a potential 'no show', but as quickly as these thoughts entered our heads, they soon disappeared, as a single fin was spotted coming towards us. Flipper sorry, Mystique, glided towards us and there he (possibly she) was. We enter the water up to knee level and were allowed to enter the water and feed one fish to these fascinating creatures. It was quite simply amazing.

You're doing what????????

So, our trip to Cairns had finally come to a close and it was time to make our journey.............back to Brisbane! Ehhhh????? But haven't you come from there, I hear you ask! Well, my British chums, we've been given the opportunity to house sit for a couple of months and decided that this was a good opportunity to earn some money and re-enter the working world. We have 4 days to cover over 1700k - No problem!

Is it a bird, is it a plane....no its Rubberman

In the last two weeks, we've had two separate occasions where wetsuits have been a prerequisite of the activities we were about to do. Now, I was a bit apprehensive at wearing an all-in-one jump suit for the first time, and to say that it was figure hugging was an understatement. I was kinda glad I hadn't had any kebabs in recent weeks, although the suit still failed to be kind.

Waiting to do my second scuba dive, something dawned on me. There is no way to look cool or even relaxed whilst wearing a full body wetsuit.....not even the people with ripped physics looked normal.
We had to wait 20 minutes in these things before going for the dive and you suddenly become very aware that you look you've raided Catwoman's wardrobe. I tried sitting down, then crossed my legs. Catching a glimpse of myself in the reflective surface opposite, I realised that I actually looked like an out-of-work superhero. "Times had been hard on Rubberman who was now sitting in the queue to pick up his giro".

I decided to stand up, maybe lean against the railings. Top shelf, PVC photo shoot suddenly became the look. Not good. I tried five different postures before giving up and settling for out-of-work superhero.

Moral of the story is: If you have to wear a wetsuit don't put it on until the very last minute, otherwise.......do another activity that doesn't need one!

Trials and Tribulation

Apart from the Great Barrier Reef there's loads to see up here in Cairns, so Clare and I decided to take a tour up north. Now this was to be the furthest North we were to go on the East coast, maybe the whole trip. The tour took in a visit to a wildlife park, Daintree National park and Cape Tribulation. The rainforests of Cape trib and Daintree were brilliant and we even went on a little bit of a Croc hunt (Because that's what you do with Crocs......go looking for them!).

The wildlife park was billed as an interactive experience and it certainly lived up to it. Once you were there you could get attacked by Wallabies, Kangaroos and even the odd pararot. Clare was scathed by the first two and had an attacking fly by from the latter. Now, you maybe wondering where I was during all of this. Well I had taken the decision to use Clare as a human shield whilst screaming like a girl. Not the most manly of stances, I must agree, but I did come out unharmed nevertheless I'm sure you'll be relieved to hear.

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So we've finally got some pictures up. Take a look through the blog and I've added in some pics.

Here's a little link for a quick hello from Clare and I (Sound needed): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1PphIM0598

...and all being well, you'll be able to see some photo's here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8634296@N07/

Seeing the Great Barrier Reef on TV looks spectacular, but seeing it for real is really unexplainable. It's the most amazing natural sight and to think that this is all living plant life that has been around for millions of years. We've seen the Barrier Reef in two places now. Once as part of the Whitsundays tour but we've now gone out to the Outer Barrier Reef, leaving from Cairns. We spent over an hour travelling on a boat getting there and it was worth the every minute of the trip. I thought that in seeing the reef we would be several metres (maybe more) above the reef itself, but it is so shallow and so close its really hard to describe. That couple with the marine life around it. We were able to see an amazing array of fish include stingrays. Quite simply one of the most spectacular sights we've ever seen.

Hmmm, now that sounds familiar!

So, we've made it to Cairns. Nearly 1800k (with a few detours thrown in for good measure) in our little camper van. We're now smack bang in the middle of the wet tropics and rain forests of Australia. Now, I want to draw your attention to two key words there. Wet and Rain, because yes, and this will amuse some of you, it bloody raining up here. Not all the time, but when it does, man it really does come crashing down! Now, of course for some of you in blighty this may bring a little smile to your face, but I think you need to understand something. You lot have got it easy when it rains, you're all stuck inside your offices and places of work for 8 hours a day in the dry, but for us it makes it really hard to get a tan!

We want to leave a comment.

Now, some of you have been struggling to leave comments on this very blog. Using all of my I.T knowledge I spent a good minute to a minute and a half investigating the problem. I think it is solved.

When leaving a comment, click on comment at the bottom of the story. You will then be presented with a page with a box for you to write your comment in. You will also be asked to choose an identity, make sure you choose annomynous. As long as you leave your name at the bottom of the comment we'll be able to tell who wrote it. If your still having problems, you may want to check your pop up blocker as we've had a couple of problems this end regarding that.